God forgive me

God forgive me when
I judge others quickly yet seek the hand of mercy for myself.
God forgive me when
I judge the poor to be lazy and looking for the easy way out.
God forgive me when
I think the solution for the poor is they get off their butts and find a job.
God forgive me when
I think it is easy for the lower class to change their status but complain I can't get ahead.
God forgive me when
I think I have it harder than everyone else.
God forgive me when
I complain the Church should be doing her job so the government doesn't have to.
God forgive me when
I forget that the Church I complain about is actually me.
God forgive me when
I choose to judge someone's lifestyle, someone's sin, someone's situation without getting to know them.
God forgive me when
I judge the whole based on my experience.
God forgive me when
I walk away from the needy, the people not like me, the Church because I find fault.
God forgive me when
I forget I have been forgiven greatly to show mercy and love.

looking for the new

One of the characteristics of Wesleyan theology consists of the ability to hold in balance opposing or at least what seems to be opposing ideas--God's holiness and justice with God's mercy and love; the mystery with the understandable. In experiencing God, do we need a balance?
The rhythm of the Christian calendar reminds me that God is found in the ordinary and the mundane. It is not just about experiencing God in the mountain top moments of life. The Christian journey is a long haul not a short jaunt. I want to allow God to turn the mundane into the sacred as often as possible.
Yet as any good American, my attention span is quite short. What is the latest way to experience that Spiritual high? I want the new. What I have is so yesterday. I want a mountain top experience again but I want it in a new way.
Is there away to hold these emotions in balance--to always long for more of Christ without missing Him in the ordinary stuff of everyday?

Running on Empty

Last week was a tiring week for me. I had a number of parishioners in the hospital, a funeral, a church dinner, and then a family emergency. This of course happens shortly after Holy Week. Holy Week's schedule and expectations have a life of their own. I have made it a point to make sure I get at least one day off a week. But Holy Week and last week made it impossible to really rest. And so I sit at my desk and breathe a deep sigh. I meditate on the Scriptures for this week. Christ says He is the Good Shepherd. I am looking for those still waters the Shepherd promised to lead me by.

narrow experience

A couple posts ago, I talked about the narrowness of fundamentalism in the theological arena. Their narrowness in theology affects how they relate to people. I found in fundamentalism experience of God and relationships with others were narrow too. Their "literal" understanding of Scripture without understanding the cultural and Biblical context of the text leads them to exclude women from certain ministry positions. What I heard from the church when I questioned women as trustees was God's grace was good enough to give men "leadership skills" and to restore them from their sin but God's grace was only good enough to get women out of Hell. God's grace cannot undo our ability to be lead astray. The narrowness of the experience of God's grace in fundamentalism is not limited to gender roles. This is simply the experience which I am most familiar with and most hurt by. I have lost friends over my call into ministry. When we cannot extend grace to each other, it means we have not experienced that grace ourselves.

searching for a Christian Voice

Sitting here in my home, watching cable television on my HD TV, I am searching, or perhaps hungering is a better word, for a Christian voice in the midst of our political system. I have heard Christians react to the health care reform bill with a cold laugh, "if anyone votes for Obama again, they are fools." I have heard the rhetoric of fear from both parties---it will be the ruin of our economy, it will be the triumph of the left. I am tired. Sitting in this comfortable place of privilege, I am tired. I can't help to think the Christians in America are losing an amazing, eternal opportunity to speak God's justice into our political system but instead we sound like the Republican rhetoric--"this will ruin our economy," "thank God I can pay for everyone else's health care," "baby killers." The Democrats call those opposed "fools" and "ignorant." So where is the Kingdom voice?
In the lectionary and in my Bible study we are going through Philippians. Philippians 2 calls us to think of others as better than ourselves, to have the attitude of Christ who did not claim his rights as God but served, to shine like stars in the darkness. This sure doesn't sound like the Republican or the Democrat rhetoric.
I wonder if the voice of the Kingdom focuses on people and not individual rights. I wonder if the Kingdom voice puts aside my continuing my lifestyle so that more people can have a better life. I wonder what part of my lifestyle is luxurious and I can do without so someone else can get the health care they need.
I wonder if the voice of the Kingdom finds the places in the health care reform bill restores justice in a broken system and celebrates--such as the end of insurance companies power to drop people for pre-existent conditions or because they get sicker.
I wonder if the voice of the Kingdom would speak justice into the health care reform where it fails to be just--not fair, not comfortable for me--but just like in the area of taxing someone who does not have health insurance. Is this adding to the oppression of the system?
The Kingdom calls me to speak justice and life into both the Republicans and the Democrats because both oppress and kill the weak and vulnerable. The Kingdom calls me to stop asking the question, "why should I have to pay for someone else?" And forces me to ask, "why do I deserve and how can I justify this lifestyle when there is someone down my street in need?" The Kingdom calls me to confess the excuse that the poor and uninsured are lazy and I shouldn't have to help them--as a sinful justification for inaction.
No the bill is not perfect. But I choose to see where the Kingdom's justice is being elevated and rejoice. And I choose to call for more justice to be done. And I choose to cease letting economics be my excuse for inaction.
I wonder if the voice of the Kingdom

narrow theology

I have been thinking about my theological journey. The main influence in my life as I grew up was fundamentalism and evangelicalism. Fundamentalism did give me a strong love for God's Word and desire to hold the Word in highest respect.
Yet as I have studied the Bible I have found context is important. As Dr. Witherington states, "a text without a context is a pretext." The problem is my fundamentalist friends have often slam the door on context discussion as adding things to the text. I remember my English classes through high school. As we read Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer, we encountered the "n" word. This lead us into the discussion over the culture these books were written in--their context. In doing so, we were able to analyze how Mark Twain uses the terms of the day but tells a story of a moral and good person who was called such a derogatory name. This analysis and the deeper meaning of these books came through understanding the culture Twain lived in and wrote in. Disregarding the context is to disregard the People of God, their Culture and God's activity in real space and time. God spoke to people in a real time and a real place. God stepped into our world in a specific culture. To discover as much as we can about the context of Scripture can only enrich our experience of God and the Word. It can only help us truly treat the Bible with the utmost respect.

The Theological/ Practical Road to Me

So in my past post I spoke of fundamentalism and how it has been part of my past. Like every part of my past, it has been a blessing and a curse. The blessings I have found fundamentalism has brought into my life are a desire for God's Word and a desire for authenticity in relationships--both of which are odd because I find fundamentalism to be lacking to some respect in both areas. Fundamentalists call for a high regard for God's Word--their definition of high regard has somethings to desire. Yet, that call for Scripture to have a high place in my daily life has created good Christian disciplines in my life as well as a hunger for God's Word. Perhaps I need to re-phrase all this. I believe God has used Fundamentalism in my life to produce a hunger for God's Word and Christian Disciplines. I do not believe one must go through fundamentalism to receive or practice these things.
I also desire authenticity. While fundamentalism actually, unknowingly places some barriers up so true authenticity cannot be experienced, I feel it was used by God in my life to help me hunger for authenticity. Fundamentalism wants to get to the basic meaning of Scripture and take it for what it is and apply it. That is what I want--I would define how we get there through Scripture differently. But I believe that desire has pointed me in the direction I am going now.
As I have said, I have issue with both how Fundamentalism views Scripture, interprets Scripture and how Fundamentalism produces barriers for authenticity. But that is all a subject for another blog.