The Hospitality of Listening, part 2

Gearing up for Annual Conference and then General Conference next year as well as the pending vote on same sex marriage in this state  has ignited the discussion debate argument ? over ordaining homosexuals and same sex marriage. And the feelings which caused me to discuss the hospitality of listening the other day, well up in me again.

I listen to both sides and hear the passion on each side. Then I hear the bricks being placed to strengthen the walls. In one conversation I was reading, participants started declaring "if this gets approve, I know several people who will leave the church." And a reply, "several people have left the church because of the stand we take right now." And we swim deeper into the ocean of emotions. These comments don't open dialog but instead close them down. "If we don't act the way I believe, I am leaving." This is a door slamming to dialog, not a door opening. I am aware there are those who would say we shouldn't open the door. How thankful I am that Christ spoke to the woman caught in adultery instead of closing the door. But that is beside the point.

With the threats of people leaving and the understanding there are those who have already left, my question is: Does God abandon us when we get "it" wrong?  Who I understood God to be two decades ago and who I believe God to be today is different. I look back and think "wow, I actually believed that." I can see where I have grown in my relationship and understanding of God. Yet where I was wrong in the past in my beliefs, I was not abandoned by God. If God is a God of grace, then God needs to be able to forgive and sanctify where I am getting it wrong. And I have to believe God does the same in the work of churches and denominations. If God doesn't, God is inconsistent. And in a way, that is where the debate lies for me. What does this say about God? What does our conversation and how we treat each other say about our theology and the God we believe in?
As the churches continue to struggle with the controversial issues, how do we rely on God's grace to work in us and in those who disagree with us? How do we stay in communion with each other as God stays in communion with us? I am no where near perfection, yet I come to the Table and meet Christ there. Will that be enough for us no matter which way the conversation leads us?

The Hospitality of Listening

Today I visited an elderly couple from church. As we ended our time together, the retired farmer stated the hardest thing for him being old is nobody listens to him. He has wisdom to share and people don't hear him.

In a clergy gathering in worship, there was an invitation to show your support for a specific, controversial issue through wearing a specific item. So we are put into categories, labeled in a setting which does not allow for dialog. I get labeled without the opportunity to be heard.

Two very different situations but similar problems. We dismiss people who are too old, too young, different than us in any way. We dismiss each other, even in attempts to reach out to others. Those who have different doctrine than us are dismissed as too liberal and not holding Scripture in high enough regard or too conservative and holding a narrow interpretation of Scripture.

So how do we listen to each other?I think it would be the easy, pat answer to say "stop labeling." But it has to be more than that. We all place people, ideas, values, and things into categories. I think the issue is when we allow those categories to become walls which block us from each other or stones we throw at each other.

We need to find a way to listen. Hospitality is valuing the other. Listening, hearing each other is the basic way we can value one another. Perhaps we need to define listening first. Do you feel listened to only when the other person agrees with you, concedes the point or does what you advise? Can we listen, disagree, and still fellowship?
We don't live in a society which encourages listening. We encourage yelling, telling others off, and shutting people out. How do we, especially those who are Christians, live out the hospitality of listening?