When different parts of your world collide in one space, you may be apprehensive, nervous or excited. Kingdom Bound presents a place for my worlds to collide. Now I hate to label because the labels carry so much baggage and also they do not encompass everything. For instance, I could label my past "conservative" because I attended churches which did not and still do not support women in ministry and who were conservative in theology and doctrine. Yet that implies I am not conservative today because I am a woman in ministry. But to many "liberals", my theology is very conservative. I still believe God has intervened throughout the history of humanity in actual events at actual times. I believe in the literal resurrection of Jesus Christ. So to label my past as conservative is a misnomer in many ways. But to label my present conservative, in the eyes of conservatives is a misnomer because I am socially more liberal and believe a literal reading of Scripture requires context. So I am a nomad. I have no home in one theological circle.
Back to Kingdom Bound--this bastion of Christian music and culture. This Christian sub-culture which I no longer truly belong to is the place where many of my older friends dwell. Yet I enjoy visiting this sub culture and listening to the music as cheesy as it can get. So I go down nostalgia lane and visit with the people who do not agree with me and the direction I am going. There is an awkwardness when I see them. I can tell they too are a bit awkward. They do not know what to do with me. I stand against how they interpret Scripture but I still believe in many ways like they do. We say 'hi'. Then the question, (dramatic music here) "what is happening in your life?" Should pastoring come up in the answer? If I do bring up being a pastor, I can almost hear the pages of Scripture turn in their head. I brace for the barrage of "women be silent," "women are not to teach men." But it doesn't come. The talk doesn't go very deep. We keep it nice and shallow. And I am sad. Is it because I am use to having people beat me up with Scripture? Is it because it would be refreshing to have all of our differences out in the open and find we can still be friends? I don't know.
I enjoyed Kingdom Bound, even with the awkwardness. Part of me longed for a deeper experience of Christ and people, I came up lacking. Yet I did experience God in redeeming my past, strengthening who I am, and walking with me in the midst of the awkwardness.
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